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    October 14

    发牢骚

         从大三下学期开学至今,我一直马不停蹄!
         80日备战BEC,期末考试,三个月的实习生活,接下来还有校园招聘+公务员考试+立项论文。
         这是2007年3月末到12月的生活安排,看起来安排仅仅有6项,可是每一样都得耗时间、花心思,容不得松懈!幸好我成功拿到BEC证书,幸好期末考试差强人意,幸好实习表现得到领导得认可!
         2007年,我每一个时间段只做一件事情、只完成一个目标。每当目标完成后,我总希望自己能够彻底地休息,可是休息没两天,就会有一种不安和恐惧向我靠拢,让我不得不向启动新的目标,开始新的征途。
         情绪低落的时候,我总想我能不能不勇敢,我能不能放开手,什么都不管,什么都不做!可是我无法如此潇洒,因为我不安,因为我知道自己成长的加速度不够大,我必须keep walking,我必须踏实、平稳向前走!可是,我什么时候才能走到彼岸,抵达目的地?可能永远都无法到达,因为我清楚地知道到达彼岸之后,便会有新的彼岸在召唤你,脚下的路延绵不绝!
         目标一个接一个,结果我的2007年相当乏闷,我没有看时政评论、没有看文学作品,连上网的时间都少了!更可悲的是,今年的日记、随笔不再有文思和才情,只求通顺、讲述清楚!有时候真的会觉得很累,从精神上感到疲倦、无力,无心安眠,只想宣泄,就如今夜。
         我决定了,我要在虚拟的空间用文字宣泄一番,然后关电脑睡觉。明早醒来给自己一个鼓励的微笑,然后keep walking!

       --碾红                  

     07年10月14日凌晨

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